You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Your face is a jimmy john
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I cut my penus on the lid.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
