So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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