goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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