Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
