I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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