I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
