Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
