I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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