he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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