right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
