I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
