So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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