READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
