I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Pants 0. Shit 1.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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