Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
