there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
