Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
