tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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