You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
