this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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