You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
