So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
