I just made out with a guy for $7.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
