Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
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