u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
