Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
there's paper in my vomit.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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