then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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