i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
