were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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