ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
