wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
This is my gift to your gina
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
