I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
