apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
