Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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