she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
