just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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