I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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