dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
We named our party play list daddy issues
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
