remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
