I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
