I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize