how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
