so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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