He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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