GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
