also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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