I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
