I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
