You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
