Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We were destined to go to rehab together
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
