Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
