We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
