walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I think your dad took our porno
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
