can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
