yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
