How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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