A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
