I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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