you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
