weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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