I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
