great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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