At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
