Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
