fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She even gives head with a lisp.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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