They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
