OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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