she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
